Youaren'tgoingtobelievethisMCA

We joined the YMCA a week or so ago. We checked out various healthclubs and this one is better equipped and far more affordable than any we looked at so, yes, we took the plunge. Now. I have not been in a healthclub in ages, I know I know, you're shocked. With the recent horrible weather, even this far south we got some of it and a windstorm knocked out power to our street for a couple of days. Power went off on Monday at 2:00pm and it was supposed to be back on by 10:00 pm. So one fun night of "camping out" in the living room. Though, no power means no water or heat or light. We do have one propane heater we can use and we were just fine, expecting to wake up sometime during the night to everything coming back on. But no. Thankfully the kids were clean enough for school, they're boys, they had water for teeth brushing..they hate baths anyway, they were happy, though they wanted to stay home in the dark with no tv or games, in lieu of school, weirdos. Jim and I, however, realllly didn't relish the thought of staying home nor did we want to go to work sans showers...aha, we can go to the Y! "You can get yourself clean.." The song says so. So we gather our necessities and head off to the Y, already daydreaming about hot showers.

Now, at some point in the back of my mind, the original tour we were given starts to replay. "Changing room, shower room, bathroom.." Wait..changing room..what was that? I didn't pay attention, I wanted to see the pool..changing room. Hmmmm. We arrive and part ways at the "Men" and "Women" and I walk in to a nearly deserted Women's locker/shower/bathroom area. Slowly it starts to dawn on me that I remember women standing in the showers in bathing suits...yes they have to shower before swimming, ok, no problem. Wait. Why could I see them? Where do you strip if you're not going to swim but either have finished or just wanna shower after you work out? My gut starts to churn. I walk slowly, with the appearance of aloofness though it's really trepidation and sure enough I arrive at said showers to find 4 curtained stalls with hooks outside, no little niche to change in, nowhere to hide and dry off, just...showers and one big, open, BRIGHTLY LIT room. Oh dear. Ok. It's early. No one is around, I'm snagging the shower in the back, worse case someone will see my arm snake out to grab my towel. Granted my pants may have wet cuffs cause I have to get into them somehow but, oh well.

So. It's not so bad. I strip behind the curtain, peek out and hang my stuff on the hooks, carefully hiding panties under the pants, jacket on top of both, towel atop that. All in order ready for use. And it's a great shower. Better water pressure than I've seen in a while. I get near to finishing and hear shuffling, people arriving, aaaahhh crap. Ok, hurry! Grab towel...the whole pile of clothing drops to the floor. #*$&$^# Squat, lean, feel, pull back, pants ...where are my panties?! Floor, they are on the floor. *swish* Grab panties. Then I hear a gravelly british accent, ""scuse me, are you 'bout finished in there?" "I say, are you 'bout finished in there?" Now I have my pants in my teeth to keep them from getting wet, "Mrrrmhmmmm," then I realize I may have sounded like an older person in distress and really don't want them calling for help so I jerk my pants out of my mouth and answer again, "Yes ma'am, almost done, just a moment." So she stands there. RIGHT there. I can hear her breathing. *whimper* I can't possibly get dressed, I realize this while I have pants in mouth, towel in hand, panties in other hand, no hook, no chair, no bench, nothing but we floor. Think, MacGyver!

I decide it's best to have on panties and jacket, (warm up jacket), towel around me somehow...yeah that works, pretty much covered, can't get my shampoo and stuff but hey, it's JUST shampoo, someone else can have it! So I walk out and she says in a huff, "It's 'andicapped only, ya know.." I just want to get to that blessed little bathroom stall with a door.."Oh, dear, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize.." What with the fold out shower chair, handheld shower nozzle and extra wide shower stall. I'm cramming my stuff in my bag, "Oh is this your soap? May as well get it, now." Fine you know what, we're all ladies here, what do I care? I'm the youngest person in here, I may not look all that great but everything is still in at least close proximity to where it was on me when I was a teenager, right? So I strut across to the shower and collect my stuff then dry it off all slow and saunter myself to a bathroom stall, finish dressing and emerge. I dry my hair, brush my teeth, and turn to sit down to put on my shoes and get the heck out of dodge. I look over and there she is, eyeballing me, apparently I took the spot her cane should occupy. "Lovely accent you have," I say with a smile, and continue to put on my shoes while she just stares at me. I don't think I made it into that clique.. By the way..the changing room is just that, a row of little niches with curtains for changing, albeit in another room, no matter what you do you must streak to somewhere else to dress. Pfft.